Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults : Funny Joke Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Funny Joke Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

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Funny Joke Adults Biography

R Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at the blackjack tables, the best friends decided to stay off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters so the first man went up to they’re father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "no but you can sleep with the pigs." the second man went to the father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said " no but you can sleep with the cows." the third man said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "yes." so in the morning the three men and the father had a conversation over breakfast the first man said "I slept like a pig" the second man said "I slept like a cow" the third man said "I felt like a golfer" the father asked why? he said cause I got my balls in 18 holes

Am I the only person who adjusts their purchases, so that the fit cashier bird has to say,

“That will be one sixty-nine please.”?

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There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy.

One is to take her shopping.

The rest is 69.

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What do you call 6.9?

A good 69 interrupted by a period…

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A school teacher asks her young students.

“What comes after 69?”

One little girl raises her hand so the teacher lets her speak.

“Well, you clean your face then wash your mouth out… duh!!!”

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A guy says to his wife, “I’m in the mood for some 69.”

She says, “Its that time of the month, but if you don’t care, I don’t care.”

They go into the bedroom, and are 69ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.

She says, “answer the door.”

He says, “but my face is a mess.”

She says, “It’s just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich.”

He opens the door and says, “I’m sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich.”

The mailman says, “I wasn’t looking at the jam on your mouth… I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead.”

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The sexual position formerly known as the “69″ is now called the “96.” Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has gone up.

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Whilst I was driving my girlfriend started giving me blowjob.

I thought I would give her a quick lick as well but ended up crashing.

The police have charged me with doing 69 in a 30 zone.

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I asked my girlfriend if she’d give me a 68 the other day…

“A68?” she said…

“Yes, you give me a blow job and I’ll owe you one!”

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Me and my missus had a 34.5 earlier.

It was meant to be a 69 but I couldn’t be bothered doing her.

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Why is Sickipedia better than a wife?

Because the last couple of days it kept going down on me!!!

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Please submit your comment on these jokes. Thanks
There were two old-maid-sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home till I’ve been laid!”

Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry about you.”

10 O’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of Gladys… 11 O’clock… 12 O’clock…

Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs Gladys… straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, “Are you okay, Gladys?”

No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.

“What is it, Gladys??? What’s wrong?” asks Betty.

“Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in… and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you’re gonna have the time of your life!!!” ;)
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the door, he says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way.”

The doctor said, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.” So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together, an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marrries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had seen them. She says, “you’ll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He whips down his pants and says, “look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”