Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults : Rude Funny Jokes Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

Tuesday 1 July 2014

Rude Funny Jokes Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

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Rude Funny Jokes Biography

Question: What's the difference between a golf ball and G spot?
Answer: there is no man in the world, who wouldn't devote 30 minutes of his life, looking for a golf ball.

Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...

Sex is like a motor racing, the most important rule is not to save money on best
quality rubber.

Husband and his wife lying in a bed. Wife flings her one leg on husband shoulder and whispers:
- Take me!
Men do not pay attention to that. The wife flings on her second leg.
- Take me!
Men: - I'm not going anywhere!

Nobody cleans the house faster than a man, expecting to get laid.

My wife wants me to get my coffee at home to save money. If she really wants me to save money she should give me sex at home.

Husband: Honey, I have problems at work.
Wife: Not "I", but "we" have problems - since we are married, your problems are mine problems as well.
Husband: ok. Then I wanted to let you know that our office-girl got pregnant from us.

Conversation in the immigration office at airport in the US:
- Your name, Sir.
- Bakshish Abdul
- Sex
- Three times a day...
- I mean male or female?
- Doesn't matter...

An officer asks a lady, who came with a request for a financial support:
- What are the names of your six kids?
- Volfgang, Volfgang, Volfgang, Volfgang, Volfgang and Volfgang.
- But how do you call them for dinner?
- Simply, I call only once – Volfgang!
- But what if you want to call only one of them?
- I call them by their last names.
Funny adult jokes - Imagination
A lady rebels at a man, who is immodestly staring at her in a bus:
- Mister, you are staring at me as if you were undressing me in your imagination.
- Excuse me, lady, in my imagination I have already dressed you up and had a smoke myself.

Funny adult jokes - Bra
What did the bra say to the hat? you go on a head while i give these two a lift.

Funny adult jokes - First
I act like a gentlemen and I always let the woman go first. So that I could check out her ass.

Funny adult jokes - Sex
A guy and his girlfriend have been dating for three years. With no sex. They decided to marry. Two week before the wedding a guy leads his girlfriend to her home. They go into the stairwell of her apartment building. The guy:
- Darling, please, let's have sex, right here in the stairwell, I can't wait any longer. Only two weeks are left to the wedding, this won't change anything. Please, I want it so much.
- Sorry, no, and I have three reasons:
1. If you have managed to wait for three years, you'll easily deal with two more weeks. 2. If anyone would see us making love in the stairwell, this would ruin everything. 3. I still feel terrible backache after sex in the stairwell.

Funny adult jokes - Flowers
A new husband arrived home with a big bouquet of flowers. His wife met him at the door, saw the flowers and dropped on the floor, spreading her legs in front of him.
"This is for the flowers," she said.
"Don't be silly," he said.
"I'am sure we have a vase somewhere at home".

Funny adult jokes - Blonde in the army
A blonde enlisted in the army, and when she was given her uniform the drill sergeant informed her that although her quaters would be in separate building she would mess with the men.
Only later did she learn that he meant she would eat her meals with them.

Funny adult jokes - The choise
During a blind date, as a man and a woman were filling each other in on their pasts, the man said, "A genie once gave me the option of having a longer penis or better memory".
"And which did you choose?" the woman asked.
A man replied "I don't remember".

Funny adult jokes - Crisis
The economy has become so bad that wifes are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

Funny adult jokes - No sex
A doctor was advising a couple after he performed minor surgery on the wife. "It will take you seven days to heal, so no sex for a week."
"Did you hear that?" the wife asked her husband.
"Yes," he said. "But he was talking to you."