Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults : June 2014

Monday 30 June 2014

Really Funny Clean Jokes Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

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Really Funny Clean Jokes Biography

Ever since I was a child I had a fascination with pranks! Friends asked me for my favorite pranks, so I decided to write them down for you all in descending order. I made the pictures all link to their page in Amazon in case you decide it’s worth buying! 1. STAND BACK, HOLD YOUR NOSE AND RUN! This spray is DEADLY! There is nothing, and I repeat nothing that can possibly smell worse than this! This spray is perfect for spraying in a room of people you don’t like!

2.I’m making this my #2 not because it’s so well made, but rather because this is guaranteed to get the loudest scream out of all of the pranks! The only downside is that you aren’t privy to the fun because the pranky will presumably lock the bathroom door before entering. But believe me… you will hear the scream loud and clear from anywhere in the house!

So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.” “Oscar” hollered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!”

An American businessman is entertaining some overseas business guests on the golf course.

The first guest, who is from Italy, tees off and hits a good shot 200 yards down the fairway. As the American businessman knows a small amount of Italian he says: “Buon tiro”, which means “Good shot”. The Italian businessman replies: “Grazie”.

The second guest, who is from France, tees off and hits a fantastic shot that lands on the green thirty feet from the hole. As the American businessman knows a small amount of French he says: “Tir fantastique”, which means “Fantastic shot”. The French businessman replies: “Merci”.

The third guest, who is from Japan, tees off and amazingly the ball goes straight in the hole, a hole in one! The American businessman doesn’t know many Japanese words or phrases but when he dated a Japanese girl during his overseas business trips she used to moan when he made love to her and she would shout out “Ura-ana, ura-ana”, and which he repeats to his Japanese guest. The Japanese businessman replies: “What do you mean, wrong hole?”
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20′s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30′s to 40′s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?”
“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20′s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30′s and 40′s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50′s, it is like a Christmas Tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes – the root’s dead and the balls are just for decoration.”