Tuesday 1 July 2014

Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

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Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults  Biography

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book. He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in." The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of' em torturing this chick. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me. So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them,' Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'" St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?" "Er.. about two minutes ago."
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A Local Business was Looking For Office Help...
Hot 3 months ago

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."
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Three girls must answer a question before enetering in heaven
Hot 2 months ago

3 girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."
"Which is...?", they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl ?", he asked the first girl. "Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl. "Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl. "Oh no, not at all", she said. "I practically have sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime". "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... my room key."
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Who'll get the job??
Hot 2 months ago

4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.
The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here's your question," said the President, "What's the fastest thing in the world?"
Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all."
"Very good answer," said the President.
Next up was the Gujrati, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
"A blink," replied the Texan almost instantaneously, "cos you don't think about a blink. It's a reflex."
"Good answer," replied the president.
Next was the Bengali, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
The Bengali thought for a moment, "Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately."
"That's a great answer," replied the president.
Finally, it was our Santa's turn. "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
Scratching his head Santa replied: "Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light... "


Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults
Really Funny Jokes For Kids And Adults Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty For Kids to tell at school for kids for teenagers for adults

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